Not sure where to start writing about what has happened over the last few days, suppose I will just have to start from the beginning.
Wednesday morning Lara came down to breakfast saying she thought her waters had gone. Immediate rush of panic and excitement as both of us were very keen to get the baby out. She was now 11 days overdue and Lara only had two more days until she was to be admitted to hospital, something we hoped wouldn’t happen. A huge relief that the baby has decided to come out by itself. She was not certain that her waters had gone, as it was only a very small amount. The colour and consistency was correct, it was just a very small amount. The midwife came around and said it sounded like it had, they can never say for certain as there is always risk of infection once the waters go and they avoid internal examinations if possible
Being the contractor that I am, I decided to go to work and be on red alert, the plan was that when her contractions start I was to come straight home. I spent all day starring at my phone is nervous anticipation. The time had come, it was time for us to have a baby!!!!
Nothing, I never got the phone call, I could have described every bit of my phone to you in detail as I literally stared at it all day. I got home at around 5pm and Lara said she thought her contractions had started. I always had imaginations of women having contractions to be red in the face screaming foul abusive language at their poor partners bent over a bed in hospital, We were wondering around Tesco’s with Lara having to lean up against the baked bean display for 30 seconds, shiver and then carry on like nothing had happened. Now I know that Lara is pretty tough but that was taking the micky if that was a contraction. I must admit I bit of doubt did cross my mind, thinking that her waters had not broken. Sometimes when you want something so badly you can make yourself believe you have these feelings, I was wondering if what she thought a bit of stomach pain or indigestion was misinterpreted as contractions. I daren’t say it just in case!
We went and rented two DVDs as I thought we better have some sort of entertainment for the evening. We went home and I cooked us some dinner. Next on the list of preparations was to get the ‘tens’ machine ready. For those who have never heard of one of these it is a small box with four pads that you stick to your back and it sends small electrical pulses through you (Dowswell et al 2008)preventing pain signals from reaching your brain. By 7ish it was obvious that Lara was having contractions as they started to intensify. They were not quite the leaning against the baked beans for comfort type, more the bent over and moaning and wincing type. So this was the start of a long , long night. In fact, I would confidently say it was the longest night of my life. Lara’s contractions started to become more and more regular. I had a little timer on my phone to time the duration and frequency. By 9pm she was contracting 2 to 3 times every ten minutes. This is the point that they say you should start thinking about calling midwifes as things are hotting up. Just as we decided to call the midwife, things cooled down. Contractions slowed to every 5 or 6 minutes. I stayed like this and at 2am we decided it was time to get a midwife and hopefully think about getting the baby out. We had the dining room all set up for the delivery and had the gas and air in there and the morphine in the fridge.
Whilst we waited for the midwife I ran a bath for Lara as it was suppose to be a good way of keeping your mind of the pain. It worked for a while but she was still in pretty horrific pain, I have no idea as to how it actually felt or the intensity. But as a spectator it was pretty horrendous. No one likes seeing someone they care for screaming in agony, what makes it even worse is having no control or method to make her feel better. You can just sit next to her rub her back and wait until the contraction finishes trying to think of encouraging words without sounding patronising only knowing full well it is all going to happen again in 5 or so minutes.
The midwife arrived at 2:30 and she was welcomed warmly into the house, it was a great relief to me to see someone who knew about labour, it was a comfort and felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. She gave Lara an internal inspection and killed our hopes of her being near the end. Lara was only two centimetres dilated, and no where near the end. She gave Lara a sweep and stayed with us for another half an hour as by doing this it can dramatically speed things up. Nothing happened and Lara continued at the same rate. She left us with instructions to call her when things went back to 3 to 4 contractions per 10 minutes or if we wanted anything else and off she went.
Lara continued all the way through the night in the same fashion. Big strong screaming, moaning contractions at a rate of 2-3 every 10. So never quite enough or regular enough for us to think it was worth calling the midwife back. The only comfort or pain relief she had during the contractions was me rubbing her back, it was a small thing I could do which made me feel I had a part I could play for the labour. We carried on like this until 9 in the morning, neither of us sleeping at all in the night. Once the midwife arrived she examined Lara. This pain is not near an end. The mid wife stayed with us which was a comfort and we decided to see how she would progress and do another examination at 12 noon.
This for me was up there with the worst part of Lara’s labour. By now Lara was completely and utterly knackered. She was not far enough ‘established’ in labour so still could not have any form of pain relief. She would brace for the oncoming contraction, make the noises that made herself feel better during the pain, and then as soon as the contraction finished, her eyes rolled back into her head and she would slump down and fall asleep straight away. This went on for 3 hours with me furiously rubbing her back during the painful times as she said it helped.
12 o’clock came, and so did the internal examination. I was so nervous for the news. She came back – “3-4cms dilated” ……… My heart sank. I could not imagine how Lara could go on doing this. I had never experienced someone enduring that level of pain for that length of time. The idea of her not even being half way was one that I couldn’t really stomach. It was time to call it quits for having the baby at home. Lara needed to have some form of pain relief and a means of having rest. There was no way that she had the energy to push the baby out if she carried on at home. The midwife and I talked about it and she agreed this was the best way. I in no way think it was quitting, what I had witnessed from Lara over the previous 18 hours was unbelievable, the effort she had put in, the suffering she endured was beyond description.
I quickly ran around the house and grabbed the bags we had prepared just in case this happened ( I was a cub scout) and had to wait for a gap in-between contractions and when there was no contraction I helped Lara into the car. We could have had an ambulance come and collect us but I thought there was not real benefit in speed and I am sure Lara would prefer me and our car to an ambulance. I pulled up in the front of the labour ward and took Lara inside. At reception they knew we were coming, at that moment Lara had to brace herself on the reception desk and had another one. She screamed down the hallway as women who had just had their babies looked at her in sympathy, and the women who were still cooking their buns and in for check up looked on in utter fear as they saw that as their future.
Lara was whipped into her room and surrounded by help. This was a huge relief for me, I could relax a bit as there was a lot of help on hand and pain relief was soon coming for poor Lara. The anaesthetist came in and talked about the much wanted and needed epidural. Lara had to be checked over and then it was confirmed she was good for an epidural. She had to sit with her legs off the bed and leaning forward. I was sitting in front of her. Has anyone seen the size of the needle!!!! Mother of sweet jesus. So out of curiosity I decided I would watch with interest. Whoops. Please remember that I had not slept all night, not really eaten a great deal and the room was very hot. I then went a lovely shade of white as the colour drained from my face and sweat dripped off my forehead. It was then that my vision went slightly blurry. All I can remember is the midwife shouting at me to go and lie in the corner. Thankfully I thought this sounded like a good idea and did as I was told. A few minutes and a sugary drink later I was up and about again fine but with a bit of my dignity gone!
10 minutes passed and at last Lara is sitting in the bed with her midwife, happy. The pain has stopped. She sits there and she is aware of the contractions but they are not bothering her at all. It was time for her to rest and try and get ready for what was to come.
At around 3 she had another internal examination that would hopefully show some good progress. Again it came back as 4cm dilated, so no real change from before. It was deemed necessary to give her a helping hand and introduce some oxytocin into her canula. This is a hormone that is used to help speed up the cervix softening. We sat around talking and passing time whilst the midwifes did all their checks with frozen lolly pops testing where was numbness of the epidural was and their normal general checks.
Lara was doing fine until her blood pressure was noted, her blood pressure had dropped far too low and the babies heart rate was slowing due to this. As the baby is not seen as a vital organ in a females body, all blood is routed to the mother’s organs. Lara put on an oxygen mask and in five minutes the baby’s heart rate was back up to normal. It slightly worried me seeing Lara having so many tubes all over the place, but we were in hospital and I re assured myself I was worrying for no reason.
At 5 she was checked again and the hormone had worked, she was fully dilated. A great bit of news and one that was of great relief as it definitely showed a light at the end of the tunnel. Lara was starting to get the natural urge to push at this time again, the midwifes set a time of six o’clock for Lara to start pushing the baby out. I went out to get some food / energy for the big event.
Six o’clock came around pretty quick and it was time for Lara to get the last bit of this long, painful and emotional ordeal over with. With each contraction she was encouraged to “push, come on push, all the way down through your bottom!!!” that phrase will stick with me for a long time. With each contraction Lara’s determination was written all across her face, the commitment to have this over was very evident. I again stood next to Lara offering my words of encouragement trying very hard not to sound patronising. The Midwife said things where good and Lara was pushing well. After about an hour and ten minutes of pushing it was noticed that the baby’s heart rate was not coming back up after each contraction / push cycle which it should have been. The doctor came in and had a quick look and it was deemed that the baby was getting tired and distressed. It was going to need a little bit of assistance to come out.
Lara was then mounted into some pretty undignified stirrups and a doctor came in with what can only be described as a tray of what looked like medieval torture implements. The doctor said it was going to be necessary to use forceps to help deliver the baby as if it was going to be delivered soon there could be dangers. Lara was warned by the doctor that it might “scratch” a little. The midwife leant over and told her the reality which I think Lara appreciated “it is going to hurt like hell”. Lara’s face showed this. I again gave my words of encouragement whilst she went about trying to break every bone in my hand.
The next contraction was encouragements from all in the room “ come on, push!!!!” “push hard and dead, right through the bottom”, Lara’s face once again a face of utter determination and concentration. I am pretty sure she had had enough and was determined to end this. “I can see the head” came from the doctor, I return my attention to Lara to offer her some more encouragement, she needs none she is red in the face and pushing hard. “it’s head is out”…. that was it, my orders to stay away from the business end were to be ignored, my curiosity got the better of me and I had a little glance to see what was happening down there. Nothing could ever prepare you for what I saw, as I glanced down I could see the baby’s head sticking out and just as I was about to look away Lara pushed again and out the baby came in its entirety. The baby was quickly placed up on Lara’s stomach and it was announced
“ you have a little Girl”
The doctor passed me some medieval torture implement and asked if I wanted to cut the cord, I of course wanted to, a strange texture but it cut pretty easily and sprayed a small amount of blood everywhere. I took a step back and surveyed the area which looked like a bit of a battle ground. Once again I felt the colour drain from my cheeks, I went slightly dizzy and my vision blurred. Oh god, not again! This time I recognised it and quietly withdrew from the front line and returned to the floor in the corner. About 20 seconds passed when the midwife asked out loud “where is the father?” I sheepishly answered and made them aware of my state.
After a minute or so and a glass of water I was back up and at Lara’s side. She was smiling and starring at our daughter lovingly, most of what had happened over the past 39 hours forgotten about. Ellis Grace Tadeusz Smith was born at 7:16pm on February 10th 2011 weighing in at 8lbs 4ozs.
About 5 minutes later the placenta came out and all was done, what an experience. I have never seen such an incredible endurance of suffering or pain before, made even harder by it being someone you love and deeply care for, but the end goal was always reminded so there was a purpose and reason for it. I am very proud of Lara for what she did, she gave bith to our beautiful lilte daughter. 
The Blog of Dave Lara, Ellis and Freddy 